One Year With Selah

Today marks a year that started off with a bang.  I remember meeting Selah in a tiny room in the smoggy city of Hefei.  She came roaring in full of energy and wouldn't stay put for more than five seconds.  In those moments I remember thinking what have we got ourselves into.  As the weeks and months have past her fiery personality has settled a lot and in it's place I see a scared little girl who has experienced a lot of trauma in her short life.  She has a happy personality with a winning smile that wants to please.  It has been so fun to watch her get stronger just by the determination to keep up with Carson.  Summer brought lots new experiences like swimming lessons, jumping on a trampoline, riding in the tractor with dad, and just learning to be a little girl who can play with toys since there was no toys at her orphanage.  Selah tried talking English almost immediately so naturally she spoke and understood so much faster than Shane.  By late summer she hardly even recognized mandarin when spoken.  I know several encouraged us to help her keep her language but easier said than done.  When I would take her somewhere where Chinese was being spoken she often would cry or start glaring at me like I was the bad person.  Not real good mother daughter bonding time so it was dropped.  I have heard that if she wants to learn it again someday it should come pretty easy.  One thing I often forget by her being so close to Carson in age is the fact that most days she functions more on the level of a 4-5 year old.  Fall brought the decision to keep her home for school since she couldn't handle any change and I wanted her here.  Sending her to school would of severely undermined all the ground I had worked months to gain.  Another thing we did in October is move her into the girls room.  At that time I made her a weighted blanket also.  The combination of the two things has completely removed her restless leg kicking light sleep.  Selah handled the holidays really well.  She loved receiving gifts especially her panda pillow and baby doll.  Now every time we go shopping she thinks she needs a gift.  Sounds about like a normal child!  An exciting happening has been her learning to play on her own more.  I did a lot of play acting how to care for a baby since she had never saw one before and now she has been reenacting it.  By now you are probably getting the picture that our journey with her has been a lot different than Shane's.  It's why our agency strongly discouraged adopting two at once.  My attachment to Shane was quicker than it has been with her.  It many times feels like two steps forward and one back but it's progress!  When your life has often been out of your control you grasp for every tiny bit of control you can find.  We are learning together and will all be better because of it in the end.  Selah loves food especially those spicy noodle cups that are so bad for you.  Food is a comfort for her yet many times ends up being a show down of control.  I really don't want her to eat as much food as the boys since she doesn't need it and she sees it as unfair.  So a few times I have just let her eat all she wants and later she's miserable but it would take next to dying to admit it.  We have yet to figure out how to balance four boys versus her.  Everything is taken as unfair and that we love them more than her.  If you are a praying person we desire prayers to understand how to reach her heart in a way that makes sense to her.  I know outside of a creative miracle this is going to be a long hard fought road for her and us but we are willing to pray/fight for it.  If there was a word that describes Selah it would be compassion.  She loves to see people taken care of and cares about whether you have slept well or need a blanket or a foot rub.  In wrapping up this first year with her we see many areas where God is working in her life and ours also to bring together healing for all.  In our training before adoptions we were told you can only help these kids heal as far as you have been healed yourself.  Thanks for praying and being involved in her life!

Enjoying her pigtails

Truly the daughter of a King

Enjoying her daddy with Chinese peace sign

First time off the diving board.  So brave!!

Carson and her can be best friends

Making cookies

So happy!

Our dinner date

Making cookies with grandma

Can you tell she loves to eat?

Just being beautiful

Christmas cookie fun

Rubbing dads back while he watches cookies bake

Her new baby

The gift that was the biggest hit...panda pillow

Baby eat Christmas dinner with us

Hair from Malitany

Box house fun

Crowning mom with a Lego crown

One Year With Shane

Today marks an important anniversary that I can hardly believe is here.  One year with this son that God moved mountains to place in our family in the nick of time.  I hardly know how to put into words what I feel in my heart about the last two years of our life.  In one year Shane has grown 4 inches and gained 20 lbs.  No wonder food has been disappearing down the hatch so fast and pants are forever to short.  The first months with Shane was hard for him and us to find a common ground.  It felt like this delicate dance back and forth with a translator in the back pocket.  Then came summer when he realized that freedom from school was fun and we did do a lot of fun things together as a family along with that dreaded word called farm labor.  Fall brought the choice to keep him home for school which was the absolute best decision we have made so far.  He was relieved to know he didn't have to go to a big school with limited language.  Keeping him home was a huge step of faith for me since I hardly knew where to begin piecing together a program for him that wouldn't make him feel like a little kid.  Today I can say that the Holy Spirit showed me the perfect program for him and continues to tweak it here and there week by week.  In August he didn't have enough language to do any math but by November he was flying through it.  I can tell he's going to soon be beyond my teaching abilities in many subjects.  Thank goodness for computer programs!  He played flag football in August and learned about working together and good sportsmanship.  In November he finally found his spot in this family and starting asking questions.  The quiet boy that we knew left and we started seeing a new Shane who loves to have fun and has a real sense of humor.  About that time I felt like I should ask him if he still wanted to be called Lin or would he like to be Shane since I had been noticing that he would introduce himself as Shane.  Sure enough he wants to be called Shane.  I was excited that he wanted to embrace the name that God gave him plus its way easier for us Americans to pronounce and spell.  November also brought the start of basketball season  Then started the holidays with all the newness and lots of dysregulation and excitement.  I think one of the most shocking things has been when 7-8 year behaviors come out of a young man taller than myself.  He loved Christmas and his new gifts.  His favorite was a gray tie and fedora hat.  He wants to live in New York City, drive a Lamborghini, and be a boss man who wears a suit and tie.  He assures me he will come home to visit me.  In December was when I received the first kiss on the cheek from him.  He had been hugging Andrew and I both a night before for several months and then I started by kissing his ear during the hug finally moving to the cheek.  He knows how to receive and give love which is a total God thing.  Many things about his past have came out in the last months.  Some really activate the momma bear in me and others make me glad that someone did care enough to invest in him.  Having a biological dad for 8 years for sure makes a world of difference for these kids.  He doesn't even have to be a great dad either.  Just someone to call your own.   He has had lots of questions about all the different religions of the world and understands way more about God than I thought he might just by observing and listening.  God is doing an awesome work in his heart by healing past traumas, rejections, and fears and introducing him to his real Father who loves him so much.  The last few weeks he has been following me all around the house asking questions like a 4-5 year old would.  I have to admit to feeling the same way I did with toddlers asking endless questions but then I remind myself that he's never had to opportunity to ask.   Today we plan to tell him in more detail his adoption story and how God moved so many obstacles to bring him here.  I'm excited to share it with him. After today he's excited for his 15th birthday in three days which we did find out isn't his real birthday (no shock there).  What makes me a little upset is that he doesn't know when it is.  It was the only thing that was his and that was taken away.  But if it hadn't been moved then we would of never been able to call him our son either.  Later this month we are taking our first family vacation with him to the Oregon coast with hopes to stop in Chinatown Portland and maybe catch a tubing hill on the way home so he can enjoy snow.  I like to post all the positives about him because those are the things I like to remember.  Adoption will always be plan B but it can be made into something beautiful with God's healing touch and Him blending us together through His love.  This year has been one of the hardest yet the most amazing that I have been honored to live.  Thanks for your continued prayers and investing into Shane's life.  I'm excited to see what another year will bring with Shane!

Brother bonding time

Working on his New York City puzzle

This boy escapes most pictures because his hair has to be perfect

His longed for vest and tie

What little snow we had was greatly enjoyed by this southern China boy

Starting to see some of his personality

First Christmas

So hard to capture all his excitement with his new gifts but he was delighted

December 2015

I will leave you with a funny language thing that happened Monday.  Shane has been having back problems since starting basketball.  So I decided to take him to the chiropractor.  He's sitting beside me while I call and make an appointment.  Then he wants to know all the details and what will happen etc.  I say he will pop your back into place.  I go on teaching school and totally miss his nervousness.  About one hour before we leave he has more questions or should I say the same ones all over again to which I say the doctor will crack your back and then it will hopefully feel better.  He says CRACK MY BACK!  I don't want to go!  My back is fine!  Then I realized what the poor boy had been tormented with for an hour.  Well he did go get his back "cracked" and now he understands what that means.  Language barriers sure make you think more often before you speak!