Adjustments

Yesterday made 1 month since Shane's gotcha day.  I was looking back over the pictures and it made me realize how different things are already in that amount of time.  Yesterday Shane had the privilege of visiting with a mandarin speaking lady.  We learned that he's bored with country life but yet likes America.  We know he's bored but not sure what to do about it right now.  Yet if we didn't live in the country he wouldn't be having the experience of head butting with a goat, feeding scraps to the pigs, chasing cows, endless trails to ride a 4-wheeler and so much more.  Some of it is just going to take time to learn language and culture.  Also him deciding that he wants to do something to change his mind about being bored.  Kind of sounds like a normal teenager!  Friday he started ESL classes at our middle school for 3 hours in the morning.  He really likes it and wants to stay all day.  We are going to take it a week at a time to see what's going to be a good fit for him and us.  He needs to learn to communicate with us better by expressing wants and needs and make an effort to join our family before he can go to school full time.  He misses his friends in country which is normal.  We have showed him how he can stay connected by email or Skype but has yet to communicate that he wants to do that.  In country the big thing is QQ but we have been told by several adoptive parents that it causes all kinds of problems on American computers so we haven't allowed it.  Overall we think he's doing great.

Selah has been with us a month on the 19th.  She has learned a lot in a month.  For one we don't stomp our foot any more!  She still cries at some point everyday probably due to language frustration.  It's become very clear that she knows how to get her way and how to be intentionally naughty so we have been starting to set some boundaries which can cause tears too.  Her walls are very high and strong right now.  It may take years to see them come down all the way.  Our prayer is that she would start letting go to learn we are okay and we will take care of her.  She wants to do everything that the boys do which creates a delicate balance of allowing some thing but then knowing when to let them have time with out her.  Her favorite things to do is puzzles and play with play dough.  Actually those two things are the only things that hold her interest for more than 5 minutes.  Her absolute favorite thing to do is run around to anyone who will give her attention.  We have went out a few times with her and it has gone well while out but then when coming back home we have to work really hard to settle her down.  It's a hard balance because Shane wants to go and she gets jealous if she can't go.  Another success is she's eating more than noodles and bananas.  I learned that if you put hot chili paste on most things she will eat them.  Her province was use to a lot of spice.  SCORE!!  She's doing really good too.

Adopting two at the same time with such a wide age range has been probably the hardest thing that we have ever done so far in our lives.  We all have adjusting to do with this whole process.  Our bio kids are learning everyday just like we are.  There are frustrating things that they have to work through and learn through trail and error what works and doesn't work.  Andrew and I have felt spread pretty thin by meeting the needs of all our children, keeping up with sport schedules, adjusting to the new normal, and getting over jetlag.  We have been under attack on every front in our lives since being home trying to discourage us even farther if possible.  We just want to state that we are going through not under.  Someday I know we will look back on this time in our lives and be so amazed at how Jesus carried us through.  I'm not trying to write a bleak picture but being honest that adoption is plan B not plan A and it isn't an easy thing for anyone involved.  It for sure isn't love at first sight but everyday you act out love until one day it becomes true love.  We are in the acting out love stage since for us it wasn't love at first sight.  We know God has called us to this amazing journey and we embrace it fully.  There has been so many miracles that we know only God could of made happen.  Thank you for all your continued prayers. 


Specific prayer needs:

For both of their hearts to continue to be calmed by Jesus who calms every storm.
For walls to start crumbling.
Shane to trust us enough to communicate his needs and desires.
Selah to bond with us and be able to be continent with playing with something for more than 5 mins.
Language to be learned fast.
Endurance for Andrew, myself, and bio kids.
For my health since I have a really bad sore throat.


Funny Things Since Being Home:

Seeing someone at the grocery store with two children and immediately thinking that they must of had to pay a lot of money for the second child.

Looking for a water bottle to brush your teeth.

Getting a drink of water without ice.

Having to remember it's safe to eat lettuce.

Amazed at how friendly American people are.

Hello From the USA

We are home!  Feb 4 was truly the longest day of my life.  We landed in Pasco one hour before we left in Hong Kong.  The moment our airplane wheels lifted off for home I had to sigh a big sigh of relief that now no new paperwork drama would unfold in Ch*na.  Our flights went great but without much sleep for any of us.  We were so thankful for the individual movie/game screens that even had a language choice in Chinese.  That kept Selah entertained for a few hours.  Then she thought it was great fun to try to push the call button and when that didn't work then getting up to go to the bathroom every little bit was the next great advent.  The one time I thought I would try to sleep she decided to push buttons, take apart her headphones, and raid the snack stash.  At least we had no crying just quiet naughty sounding Chinese.  Before we left Hong Kong Shane had some Chinese money he wanted to exchange.  I wish I had thought to take a picture of his face when he saw his American money.  He was so ready to leave for America.  The best event of the day was being reunited with our four other children that has stayed home.  3 1/2 weeks is a LONG time for all of us to be separated.  I want to say thank you for all the food that was provided for the children while we was gone and what is in my freezer for all of us now.  It's a huge blessing!  The last 48 hours have kind of been a fog.  Right now things are going well with everyone.  We all have a lot of adjusting to do and finding that new normal.  This month is filled with medical, dental, and eye appointments.  Another new for us is that Shane feels like he would like to attend public school and have the access to ESL.  So we will soon be checking into options for schooling for him.  Selah acts about half her age and hasn't had much education at all.  We plan to just let her adjust and learn English until fall and then make a decision about schooling for her.  The prayer needs now are getting over jetlag, communication/English learning, adjusting to a new culture and new food, and there are more.  I will share some more pictures of our trip.

 

Last picture of a family of 7

 

The long flight to China

 

So tired at Shanghai

 

 

Food anyone??

 

The beautiful lobby at The Garden in Guangzhou

 

Smog isn't a beautiful thing!

 

Paddle boat ride at the park in GZ

 

The best part of GZ-sandals!

 

 

Shane with Lily who worked so hard to get his paperwork done.  She broke down and cried just from all the miracles that she saw done on his behalf.

 

A Chinese wedding

 

 

Celebrating Shane's 14th birthday

 

 

 

Pearl River cruise

 

 

 

Sweet potato vendor in Hefei

 

street sweeper



 



 

Posing for picture

 

 

 

Writing poems with a brush and water

 

Making her officially ours

 

The only panda we saw after visiting three zoos

 

 

 

Selah's friend from province

 

 

Orphanage visit

 

Her foster parents

 

Dinner anyone?

 



 

Dancing with Mickey

 

 

Our adoption group from all over the US

On Shamian Island

 



More of the island-beautiful peaceful place

 



Some sweet ladies teaching Selah a Chinese dance with a ball on the racket

 

A statue on the island dedicated to adoption

 

View of our hotel

 

Meat?  No thanks!!

 

 

Selah's foster parents

 

 

Shane's best friends

 

Eating at his orphanage

 

His two aunties or foster moms-he was spoiled!

 

 

 

Saying good-bye

 

 

 

 

At the Chimelong Sarfari

 

Our first selfie-the first time she let my cheek be that close to hers

 

Ready to leave at Hong Kong

 

The first picture of the 9 of us

 

 

 



 



A Few More Details

I forgot a few details.  First our flight arrives at Pasco airport on Feb 4 at 10:52 am.  Everyone who wishes to can come and say hi.  I wanted to describe a few things about each child.  Shane is very shy and quiet.  Please don't talk about him in front of him.  Our guide said he's probably understanding around 40-50% of what's being said.  Selah is very outgoing and wants equal attention that is given to Shane.  Attention makes her hyper and then can end in a melt down.  She has huge walls in place so doesn't like to be touched and will probably pull away if you attempt to touch her.  That's how they are acting in country but it's hard to tell what they will do at the airport.

Last China Post

Friday we spent on the island again doing some souvenir shopping and enjoying a slower pace.  Saturday we adventure out starting with a metro ride to the Chimelong Safari and Circus.  We would recommend the circus to everyone who visits Ch*na.  You see things there you wouldn't see in the US.  On one act I had to close my eyes because you know it only takes one slip. There wasn't safety nets for most of the acts.  It was a huge day with lots of people which created a good day for Selah to bond with us by holding our hands in the crowds of pushing people.  We walked over 8 miles and Selah kept right up with us the whole time.  Sleep was sweet for all of us that night.   Sunday we attended church on Shamian Island.  Lots of things I want to say about that experience but not sure if it's safe to post.  Our hearts go out to these people and their desire to know more but yet it's so controlled.  Today is the day we have worked for over a year and been waiting on for three weeks....consulate appointment.  While on the way there our guide was sharing with us some problems with some of the different dates on some of our notary documents and what we could expect during the appointment because of those issues.  We have a very different case because Shane isn't an abandon child since he turned himself into the police station after living on his own for several months at the age of nine.  Someday we hope he can share more details about that time with us.  Our appointment couldn't have went better or faster.  Tomorrow we will pick up S & S's passports And then we are on the count down to Wednesday morning with our 12:00pm flight from Hong Kong.  Shane is so ready to leave to come to America.  We are thankful for that!  He seems to be cutting ties with China very fast.  I have no idea if that's a good or bad thing.  I'm ready to get back in country so I can communicate with the Lifeline post adoption team.  I have so many questions.

It's a bittersweet post to write.  While we are so ready to be home and be all together again we are also leaving behind two of our children's culture and all they have ever known.  I think that we will forever have a piece of our hearts here with these people even though we don't understand their culture and haven't learned love their food or sanitary conditions.  Something tells me we will be
back again someday since we have two Chinese children or maybe to bring home more.  Only God knows that.  Right now we say no.  We are so grateful that God called us to this place and to this time to complete something He set in motion long ago.  We know we have hard days ahead.  There have been hard days here and God has been faithful to see us through them so we know we can trust Him for those days ahead.   It doesn't seem real to be writing the final post.  Thank you for all your prayers, support, encouragement, food, clothing, and the list goes on.  These children are not just ours but yours too.  You helped bring them home!