Adjustments

Yesterday made 1 month since Shane's gotcha day.  I was looking back over the pictures and it made me realize how different things are already in that amount of time.  Yesterday Shane had the privilege of visiting with a mandarin speaking lady.  We learned that he's bored with country life but yet likes America.  We know he's bored but not sure what to do about it right now.  Yet if we didn't live in the country he wouldn't be having the experience of head butting with a goat, feeding scraps to the pigs, chasing cows, endless trails to ride a 4-wheeler and so much more.  Some of it is just going to take time to learn language and culture.  Also him deciding that he wants to do something to change his mind about being bored.  Kind of sounds like a normal teenager!  Friday he started ESL classes at our middle school for 3 hours in the morning.  He really likes it and wants to stay all day.  We are going to take it a week at a time to see what's going to be a good fit for him and us.  He needs to learn to communicate with us better by expressing wants and needs and make an effort to join our family before he can go to school full time.  He misses his friends in country which is normal.  We have showed him how he can stay connected by email or Skype but has yet to communicate that he wants to do that.  In country the big thing is QQ but we have been told by several adoptive parents that it causes all kinds of problems on American computers so we haven't allowed it.  Overall we think he's doing great.

Selah has been with us a month on the 19th.  She has learned a lot in a month.  For one we don't stomp our foot any more!  She still cries at some point everyday probably due to language frustration.  It's become very clear that she knows how to get her way and how to be intentionally naughty so we have been starting to set some boundaries which can cause tears too.  Her walls are very high and strong right now.  It may take years to see them come down all the way.  Our prayer is that she would start letting go to learn we are okay and we will take care of her.  She wants to do everything that the boys do which creates a delicate balance of allowing some thing but then knowing when to let them have time with out her.  Her favorite things to do is puzzles and play with play dough.  Actually those two things are the only things that hold her interest for more than 5 minutes.  Her absolute favorite thing to do is run around to anyone who will give her attention.  We have went out a few times with her and it has gone well while out but then when coming back home we have to work really hard to settle her down.  It's a hard balance because Shane wants to go and she gets jealous if she can't go.  Another success is she's eating more than noodles and bananas.  I learned that if you put hot chili paste on most things she will eat them.  Her province was use to a lot of spice.  SCORE!!  She's doing really good too.

Adopting two at the same time with such a wide age range has been probably the hardest thing that we have ever done so far in our lives.  We all have adjusting to do with this whole process.  Our bio kids are learning everyday just like we are.  There are frustrating things that they have to work through and learn through trail and error what works and doesn't work.  Andrew and I have felt spread pretty thin by meeting the needs of all our children, keeping up with sport schedules, adjusting to the new normal, and getting over jetlag.  We have been under attack on every front in our lives since being home trying to discourage us even farther if possible.  We just want to state that we are going through not under.  Someday I know we will look back on this time in our lives and be so amazed at how Jesus carried us through.  I'm not trying to write a bleak picture but being honest that adoption is plan B not plan A and it isn't an easy thing for anyone involved.  It for sure isn't love at first sight but everyday you act out love until one day it becomes true love.  We are in the acting out love stage since for us it wasn't love at first sight.  We know God has called us to this amazing journey and we embrace it fully.  There has been so many miracles that we know only God could of made happen.  Thank you for all your continued prayers. 


Specific prayer needs:

For both of their hearts to continue to be calmed by Jesus who calms every storm.
For walls to start crumbling.
Shane to trust us enough to communicate his needs and desires.
Selah to bond with us and be able to be continent with playing with something for more than 5 mins.
Language to be learned fast.
Endurance for Andrew, myself, and bio kids.
For my health since I have a really bad sore throat.


Funny Things Since Being Home:

Seeing someone at the grocery store with two children and immediately thinking that they must of had to pay a lot of money for the second child.

Looking for a water bottle to brush your teeth.

Getting a drink of water without ice.

Having to remember it's safe to eat lettuce.

Amazed at how friendly American people are.