Tickets Purchased!!

Today we was given clearance from Lifeline to book our tickets for a Jan 14 or Jan 15 gotcha day for Shane and Jan 19 for Selah.  We are still missing documents and the US consulate still has to release some stuff but we are traveling in faith believing that everything will be wrapped up in time.  It has been a whirlwind of a month of expediting with small moments of rest here and there.  This real and it's happening!!

Another hiccup

We heard this morning that the US consulate in Ch*na will not release Shane's visa because they want the CCCWA to look for living grandparents.  Lovely!!!  Why this wasn't done before he was put on the list to be adopted we don't know.  Now this puts us on plan C for travel.  Lifeline is setting a Jan 16 gotcha day in hopes that everything will happen in time.  We know that God knew about this little hiccup from the very beginning and He's has got it all under control even it can look impossible.  Shane's going to have quite a testimony someday because we believe we will be there in time.  Everyone's kind words and spoken belief that this will happen has been a great blessing to us.  Thanks for praying and believing with us!

Still waiting........

How long will I have to post a title of still waiting???  Today has been a day that I've been jumping at every ring or beep on my phone waiting to hear from our social worker.  Lifeline has been working diligently to make sure we are in country on time.  Our I800 application was finally found today and will be released from the lockbox on Wed.  Overnighted to the national visa place with hopes that we can be wrapping everything up by Friday.  Another huge praise is that we are officially 100% funded even for expensive last minute flights!!  Thank you!!

Information

If you are new to adoption then you maybe haven't heard about what will happen when we return back to America.  A welcome home at the airport by all our family and friends will depend on how well our children adjusting while in country.  We will make that call and keep you posted closer to the time on that.  We will want to see all of you who have supported us on this journey but have to remember it's not about us.  Here's a letter to help explain what the weeks following will look like for our family.

Dear friends and family,

We wanted to write to let you know a little about what this transition period is going to look like for our family – and how you can help!

Because our children are new to us being their mom and dad, we will have some strict boundaries for the first few months. If you’re someone who we will see regularly at home, church, or just out and about, please take the time to read these thoughts on attachment:

Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need, communicates that need, and a primary caretaker meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent; the baby is hungry, cries in distress, mom nurses and calms the baby – which teaches him/her that this person is safe and can be trusted. By God’s very design, an emotional foundation is laid in the tiniest of babies, which will affect their learning, conscience, growth and future relationships. The security provided by parents will ultimately give children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process. The loss of a biological mother and father at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts. For our children, they are about to experience the loss of familiar and comforting caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of their birth country. When they come home, they will be overwhelmed by this loss. Everything around them will be new and they will need to learn not just about a new environment, but also about love and family. They have not experienced God’s design for a family in an orphanage setting.  Their world will turn upside down. They may struggle with feeling safe and secure and may lack the ability to trust that we will meet their needs.

The good news is that, with the Holy Spirit, we can now, as their forever parents, rebuild attachment and help them heal from these emotional wounds. The best way for us to form a parent/child bond is to be the only ones to hold, cuddle, instruct, soothe and feed them.  As this repeats between us, they will be able to learn that parents are safe to trust and to love deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection. Once they begin to establish this important bond with us, they will then be able to branch out to other healthy relationships.

Please know that these decisions are prayerfully and thoughtfully made choices based on personal experience, research, and instruction from trusted adoption mentors. We will be doing what I believe is best to help them heal from the early interruptions that they had in attachment as effectively as possible.

While some of this may seem like overkill or even sound a little bit crazy, we hope that you will understand and trust that we are doing this to give our children an ideal environment to become a secure, well adjusted, and confident children. We can’t give an exact timeline on what this will look like or at what point I’ll say that they are “attached” to us. This takes time and every child is different. We hope and pray that this transition will be smooth, but given the huge amount of new sights, people, and experiences awaiting them in America, we don’t know what to expect.

Why are we telling you all of this? Because you will actually play an incredible and vital role in helping our children to settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for the future. There are a few areas in which you can help us:

The first is to set physical boundaries. It will help us immensely if adults who are around our children limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with a young child who you are around frequently. This will (for a while) include things like holding or excessive hugging and kissing. Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone – which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents. Waving, blowing kisses, high fives, or a pat on the back is perfectly appropriate and welcomed! They should know that the people with whom they interact with are our trusted friends.

Another area (probably the biggest as we’ll be keeping them close to us for the first few months) is redirecting their desire to have their physical and emotional needs met by anyone (including strangers) to having us meet those needs.

Former orphans often have had so many caretakers that they, as a survival mechanism, become overly charming toward all adults. A child struggling to learn to attach may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their family unit. It may appear harmless and as if they are “very friendly” but this is actually quite dangerous for the child. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have our children hugged and cherished by ALL of you. But until they have had a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct them back to us if you see that they are seeking out food or comfort from anyone but us. It is totally fine to let them hug you, but please don’t pick them up or hold them on your lap.

Also, please feel free to ask us any questions at any time. We are so grateful to have a community of friends that will help our children feel loved, safe, and secure. We couldn’t ask for a better extended family and circle of friends for them. Thank you so much for your love and support over this adoption process.

Love,

Andrew, Sherrie, & family

 

Waiting..............

Yesterday we found out that our I800 are still waiting on clearance from our officer in Missouri who hasn't been in all week.  Kind of beginning to believe that she must be on vacation.  So we have moved on to plan B for travel which is a Jan 12 gotcha day for Shane if all goes well.  If no then it will be plan C which will be traveling the day before his birthday.  I don't even want to talk about plan D because that would mean that we wouldn't be there in time to bring him home.  At this point Lifeline doesn't have any reason to believe that we wont be there in time.  Yesterday we were advised to be sitting on go.  How do you be ready to travel in 24 hours at all times with a family of seven?  This morning Lily Crist, who advocated for Shane, sent us an email that Shane had sent to her.

This message was just what we needed this morning when you start to wonder if you are doing the right thing in removing a young man from everything he has known.  I'm saving this because we may need to reread this over and over in the next few weeks.  So while we wait we are going to have the opportunity to meet with some people who live in Ch*na and are visiting the states, get our carpets stretched and cleaned (crazy to do this I know but it doesn't look any easier after we get home), start building a table for 9+, and enjoy some relaxing family time.  Happy New Year to each one!!

 

LOA's

We was so excited to find our LOA's (letter of acceptance) this morning when we opened our email.  Literally hours before a 10 day shut down in Ch*na.  Now everything that needs to happen is in the states.  We are still hoping for a January 5 gotcha day for Selah and January 12 for Shane.  It's in the hands of the Chicago consulate to decide that for us now.  If they can't get our visas processed before January 1st then we will do Shane's January 12 gotcha day first and then the following week would be Selah's.  We are hoping for the first plan since it would mean one less plane ride in country which equals less money.  Things have been hitting at a very fast pace which is good so we can bring home Shane in time but this picture I had in my mind when we first started the adoption process has totally been destroyed.  I don't look at it as a bad thing but only preparation of things to come.  God wants me to totally trust Him in all areas of my life.  That's truly what I want but sometimes I try to grab it back thinking I can work it out faster or better.  This adoption thing has been totally out of our control.  We have been running to catch up with the amazing things God has been doing and doors that He has been opening.  Clear back in Feb on my way home from grocery shopping God told me to get a big jar to start collecting money in it for the adoption.  The only jar I had was a 2 gallon one.  I laughingly pulled it out of the cupboard and showed it to Andrew.  We decided to dream big and deemed that to be our jar.  Through the months that jar has been filling and filling in amazing ways.  The most touching was two cousins dumping in all their piggy bank money to bring home two new cousins.  Several times through the months we would be tempted to pull it out and count it just for our own peace of mind about where we was at in the funding of this adoption but every time we would go to do it God said wait.  Wait until when?  Until God said it was time which was Christmas eve.  We counted the jar which weighed over twenty pounds and was 3/4 full of cash and change.  We estimated that there was $2500-$3000 dollars in there.  The stocking total was $4801.  Why was it stocking?  This is God we are talking about.  I believe that this jar has been like the story in the Bible of the loaves and fishes.  It just kept multiplying.  In two weeks we have went from needing $18,000 to probably around $5000 from being 100% funded.  This has all been because of all of you who have understood what it takes to bring home orphans no more.  You have been the hands and feet of Jesus to us and them.  We stand in awe!

The money jar

 

Missing two at Christmas

Updates

Friday December 19th we were DTC and today we are LID with hopes of having our LOA by Friday before the week long China shut down.  We spoke with our social worker this morning who is committed to working on her Christmas break if need be to make all this happen in time to hopefully be traveling in less than 2 weeks in pick up Selah first and then Shane a week later with a total time in China being 3 weeks.  I will have to say that we are a mixture of weary and excited all rolled into one.  I'm hoping to finish up a couple things today and then take a couple day break from adoption things to focus in on our family before the final crazy push.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Photo credit goes to https://annewithanephotography.wordpress.com/